Today was Tough…

So today was tough, and i have no idea why…genuinely. I love the new job, I feel like i am TEACHING these kids, and I LOVE it, rather than a glorified babysitter. Really working with the kids, making up lesson plans, getting them to take part and have fun, making them WANT to know more, using my own knowledge and putting my own spin on it to wow the kids. That is a great feeling.

Pool time at this camp is a hello fo a lot less stressful. In fact the pull is a 1000 times better, it has a diving board and goes to 12 feet in depth. I used a diving board for the first time today….something I had never done as a kid and always been scared of. so thats something i can cross off my list!

but something towards the end of the day just pissed me the hell off… I guess being smacked in the face with a football, then smacked in the jaw with a basketball could be the reason, but it has to be more than that, I mean my jaw is STILL ringing from earlier though! I think one of the bball players got inside my head today, totally lost my game, played like shit and got really frustrated. Which is unusual…I play hard but i never let it get to me, Im friendly competitive not any fiercer than that! Not that i was spewing nastiness at anyone just inside my head i felt well mad. to mad to focus it into playing well. so i made my excuses and left the court to chill by the pool in the evening sun. I guess its just 5 weeks of everything, this job is intense and comes with a lot of stress, the job itself is great but its everything that comes with it. everyone knowing everyones business, that fine line between your boss and your private life that is much harder to keep when hes in charge of making sure your ok. long days, very little privacy, and then general topsy turveyness and that lack of control im used to having back home. back home i have a chaotic life, il admit, but i still hav full control of how i do things, how i get there, when i get there, where i go etc. here im on a leash at times just due to circumstance more than anything…maybe that annoys me subconciously or after all this time its started to annoy me.

Personally I believe in never letting it show or affect your job. I could be having the worst day of my life and hate everyone i know and Id still walk into any job but especially this one with a huge grin and be the silliest and best i could be!cause kids are depending on you tomake their summer, hence why i love this particular camp…and if anyone asks how you are, grit your teeth, smile and say “damn fine” you can be pissed off after your shift.

so even tomorrow, if im still feeling a bit off, it wont affect anything, im hoping its just a random thing, considering iv literally felt amazing the whole time iv been here, and the little “niggles” have just rolled off my back “roll with the punches” they say. just get on with it is most defo my style.

I dont want this post to come across as whiney or ungrateful. I love my job and i love this experience, Im lucky to be here and i had to be good to get here, but I dont have any of my friends that I would usually go rant too…then turn it into a big joke and feel better about. that outlet is gone. so this blog post will have to do, in fact i dont know what im mad at, im just mad, which is odd, but writing it down then posting it makes me feel like i have tried to reason ad debate and argue and undeerstand whatever it is. maybe Ill reach a conclusion as to why later on now i have tried to methodically figure out whats bugging me.

lets just put it down to me not being bothered by anything at all and imhaving a “moment” Il be fine tomorrow, and even if i wasnt i wouldnt let it take away from the rest of an awesome time im gonna have (iv paid too much money NOT too !!)

anyway to anyone who stuck with me through that blog post, and especially any family. dont worry im fine, i just wanted my little moany rant, about pretty much nothing…..craig alexander would totally understand…. love you all 🙂

also feel free to drop me a comment,

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~ by conorstrife on July 27, 2011.

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